Roommate Olympics: a look ahead at Week 2

Unfortunate timing means that the 23rd Roommate Olympiad, held this year in Santa Barbara, is being overshadowed by the London Games. It’s a shame because the Roommate Olympics features a number of compelling and relatable events that are real crowd pleasers. Here’s a quick look at what’s upcoming for the closing week of competition, there are lots of medals still to be awarded.

Frozen Burrito Clean & Jerk. The goal, of course, is to retrieve the roommate’s frozen burrito dinner from the refrigerator without alerting the victim that a food theft has taken place. Extra points are awarded for cheeky replacement of the half-used salsa tin.

Parallel Bars. Simultaneous timed bar crawls along fabled State Street, in parallel on opposites sides of boulevard. First roommate tackles The Savoy, Velvet Jones, Santa Barbara Brewing Company, and The James Joyce, while second roommate shambles among Bay Roadhouse Bar & Grill, Old Kings Road, Tonic Nightclub, and Chase Bar & Grill. Then switch and reverse. Judges award points in several categories, including pitchers consumed, phone numbers exchanged, and longest bathroom interval.

Roommate Dressage. Oddly enough, this is exactly the same as the Olympic event, except one roommate plays the role of the horse and the other acts as rider. Very peculiar event.

Modern Roommate Pentathlon. A regular Olympics dud, this event is one of the most popular on the Roommate Olympics schedule. And why wouldn’t it be with a quintuplet of thrilling competitions: tandem parking sprint, cockroach pursuit, after-hours late rent deposit, dirty dishes Jenga, and carpet stain camouflage.

1500-Meter Utilities Payment Avoidance Dash. First roommate receives a 5-second head start, second roommate has 1500 meters to close the distance, waving an unpaid utility bill in hand all the way. Reverse roles for second heat, aggregate low times wins.

4×800-Meter Credit Card Relay. Competitors have 800 meters to find and relay a credit card capable of soaking up a $450 bar tab. This is often an endurance test, as it may take several tries to achieve success.

This should be fun, make time to tune in