Kicking out a roommie, the nice way
Sometimes roommate relationships just don’t work out and it’s time to move on. Usually, both sides know a change is for the best, but drama ensues regardless. Why? Because someone feels disrespected, and now a relatively easy to resolve dispute is about to go nuclear. There has got to be an easier way to get everyone moving toward a common goal…
Try these tips for handling your roommate business in a way that does not create more problems than it solves.
Communicate, be upfront, be open. Small problems inevitably swell into major headaches when one (or both) sides communicate dishonestly, or fail to communicate at all. Pretty soon everybody is walking on eggshells, and that’s when long-term resentment sets in and fireworks are virtually guaranteed. If there are problems between you and your roommate, don’t lock yourself in your room and blog about it. Talk with your roommate honestly, let them know what’s wrong, and listen to what they have to say – you might not solve the problem, but you will maintain a relationship that is civil and respectful, which is key to avoiding a meltdown.
Know the law. If you want to ask your roommate to leave, find out what your rights and obligations are. Depending on your arrangement (are you the property owner, are both names on the lease, is it a sublet, etc.), you might have absolute authority to demand your roommate leave, or you might need to work out an agreement.
Discreetly safeguard your gear. ‘Discreetly’ is the key word here – you want to protect your things against a worse case scenario, but you don’t want to provoke one by making it obvious.
“Can we talk…” Don’t contrive a reason to ask your roommate to leave, and don’t try to make them leave by making their living situation with you uncomfortable. Have an honest conversation and express the truth: you will both be happier after a change in living arrangements.
Stick to the plan. Once you both have decided on a plan to move on, stick with it. Don’t be swayed by a sudden onset of hysterics, or a brief interlude of peace: stay calm, remain determined, and avoid excuses to deviate from what you have both agreed to.