Dear Kombucha: My roommate is a bad influence on me. Help!
I recently got a new roommate, who is a very fun person, and I like her a lot. Unfortunately she is also a bad influence on me. She’s very outgoing and likes to party, and I find myself getting sucked in to her festivities. This has led to me staying out way too late on work nights and sometimes disrupting my exercise schedule and plans with other friends. I want her to like me, though, so I have a hard time saying no when she asks me to hang out. What should I do?
This problem you are describing is not really about your roommate at all. It’s actually about you.
Your desire to be liked and feeling that you are shirking your other responsibilities indicates that you may struggle with self-esteem issues and have a need to feel like people like you. You probably also have a hard time with dating and rejection, am I right?
It’s great that you want to hang out with your roommate and build a relationship with her. If she is able to be a social butterfly and still function well in her daily life, she’s lucky. Your challenge is to negotiate being social with your roommate while still continuing to function at a high level in your own life.
Roommate relationships shouldn’t lead to the sacrifice of other important personal priorities like sleep, work performance, exercise, family and friends, and emotional well-being. Get your ducks in a row and hopefully you’ll still have time to party with your roommate every once in awhile. If not, give her my number.