Weird hangover cures you can make at home

You look up “hangover cures” on the Internet and there are a million weird ones, but most of them require impossible ingredients or specialized expertise or alien technology. Booooo! We have some legitimate weird hangover cures right here for you and you can prepare them easily at home and probably they absolutely do not work but is that really the point?

Lemon pits. This one comes from Puerto Rico and it leads off because it’s a preventative – you do this before a night of heavy drinking, in anticipation of a nasty hangover. Sorry Giants fans… you’re too late for this one!

• Step 1: cut a lemon in half
• Step 2: rub it in the pit of your drinking arm
• Step 3: ???
• Step 4: profit!

I really like the specificity involved in rubbing the lemon into your drinking arm’s pit, this gives it an appealing voodoo/witchcraft vibe. Worst case scenario: you spend the next morning barfing, but you smell great!

Bloody Mary. Not the tomato juice with a wilted celery stick. This: 

Buffalo milk. Requires no actual buffaloes to make! This one comes from Nigeria and is basically a hair-o’-the-dog milkshake: heavy cream, rum, and Bailey’s. Usually it’s something like this that gets you into trouble in the first place. I look at that ingredient list and can only think of this:

Pickled herring. If you ask a German how to cure a hangover, they’ll likely tell you that a plate of pickled herring will chase your blues away. Germans are said to lack a sense of humor, but this has every appearance of a cruel joke meant to incur additional suffering. “Wrap the herring in an onion,” they might add with a devilish twinkle. No thank you.

 

There you go. Management assumes no responsibility for what happens to you if you try any of these recipes. Feel better soon!