The absolute worst dog costumes for Halloween

Look, let’s get this straight from the top: if you dress your dog up for Halloween, you are probably a defective person. It’s not as bad as dressing them up every day in little sweaters or tiny boots, but you are not going to win any awards for being a cool owner.

But… there are some dog costumes that are beyond the pale. Is there a Child Protective Services equivalent for dogs? If so, you should get a visit from them if you dress your dog up in one of these costumes:

Dorothy costume. “Please kill me.” That is the look on this poor guy’s face. Sorry this happened to you, li’l buddy. We’re sending your owner to Guantanamo Bay to ensure it never happens again.

Monkey jockey costume. This one doubles down on the infamy of dog costuming. If this dog is witnessed in this sad condition by his dog mates, they will surely banish her from the pack forever.

Triceratops headgear. Three days after this picture was taken, Marmadickens committed suicide by jumping into a trash compactor. He simply could not live with the humiliation of this costume.

Yoda costume. I know it’s tempting to get this costume just because it puts a few dollars in George Lucas’ pocket and he really needs the money, but step back and look what you have done to your dog. JUST LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!!!!!!

Dog paint. You just graffitied your dog, turning your best friend into a joke that is to be ridiculed and laughed at. What is your major malfunction?

Dog disguise. This is the most absurd, irresponsible thing I have ever heard of… of course the Australians are responsible! Turning your vicious, man-eating dog into a faux poodle is just going to make it angrier and more prone to devour children!!!