Earth Day is super depressing

Ugh, here we go again… Earth Day 2012 is here. If you’re really into to it no offense, but… barf.

Earth Day for real environmental enthusiasts is kinda like St. Patrick’s Day for dedicated partiers – it’s amateur hour, filled with a bunch of poseurs who are guaranteed to screw up your good time. On St. Patrick’s Day, that means it takes an hour to order a drink and some kid pukes on your shoes. On Earth Day, it means you have to endure college kids spouting off about whatever crap they learned last semester and old hippies jumping in their hot tub time machine to pretend its 1969 again.

I’m not going to attend any Earth Day events this year, it’s just too depressing. The worst part is the way corporations have co-opted what is essentially supposed to be a day of activism and remembrance and turned it into an opportunity to distract from whatever eco-travesties they commit the other 364 days of the year:

 

• Coca-Cola thought Earth Day would be a great time to promote their Dasani water line… but please pay no attention to the billions of plastic water bottles produced.

 

• Hey look, the great people at Chevron saved some turtle eggs… think they’ll mention the billions of gallons of toxic waste they dumped on Ecuador?

 

• Oh yay, Apple planted a tree… maybe they can plant a few hundred more to commemorate each of the suicides at their atrocious Chinese labor mills.

 

• The delightful moppets of American Idol are telling us how we can be better environmental citizens… let’s hope their parent company News Corp is taking notes, rather than continuing to push the aggressively anti-eco message they are famous for.

 

So yeah, I’m skipping Earth Day. I’ll be back out the next day, when the poseurs have gone home and it’s safe to care about the environment again.