Booze popsicles let you look like a kid, drink like a man

 

Is it just me or has it been hot out there? If it’s just me then this article is poorly timed, but if it really is super hot out there then I have just the idea to cool everyone off: frozen liquor on a stick. I tried putting everything in the freezer and with a stick in it and none of it was remotely palatable: beer cans, big bottles of wine, a handle of Jack. Yuck… guess I’ll be be all hot and sober.

Then I remembered – I have the Internet! Turns out there are literally tens of hundreds of spiked popsicle recipes online, here are a few that I found especially delectable:

 

Watermelon tequila wedges 

This recipe says chop off the rind and put in a stick, but I say leave the rind on and ditch the stick to keep that authentic picnic vibe. Use a sugar-salt mix for dippin’ to give you that savory-sweet tang.

 

Lemon vodka cream pops

Tasty, dignified, and subtle. Mark Gastineau and Gore Vidal once had a contest to see who could eat more of these in a single evening at Studio 54 and Gore won 17 to 9, which coincidentally was the score the Jets lost by that night. The 70′s were weird like that.

 

Strawberry peach vodka collins popsicles 

Delightfully sweet, like a picnic at the beach. I think Honey Boo Boo pounds a couple of these before she hits the stage.

 

Emeril’s margarita pops

Good ol’ Emeril. What’s he up to these days? Five years ago you couldn’t turn on a TV without him screaming something at you. Back then I thought, “If this guy ever goes away, I don’t think I’ll miss him” and it turns out I was right.

 

Havana mojito pops

You can also freeze this recipe into ice cubes and pop them into your water at the office and no one will ever know, or at least no one has said anything to me yet.