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Giants offer yoga at last remaining place not infested by yoga
You know what’s annoying? When you go into Whole Foods to pick up some cilantro fritters and a sixer of Domaine DuPage and you have to fight your way through like a thousand soccer moms walking around the place with rolled up yoga mats strapped on like there’s a freaking ashram in the back or something. Yes you’re into yoga, lovely – no one’s gonna let you blast out cow faces and donkey punches in aisle 4, you can leave your dumb mat in the car.
Unfortunately the Giants don’t shop at Whole Foods so they’ve decided to push ahead with their own brand of madness – on Wednesday Sept. 5 AT&T Park will host its first ever Yoga Day. Entry gets you a 8-9:15am on-field yoga session and a ticket to the evening game. You can bring your own mat and the Giants will give you one too, so now you can really strut your stuff at the market.
Also Michael Franti will be there, because music. I had to google Michael Franti to figure out who he is… basically, if it’s not tumblr rap or chillwave or seapunk then I have never heard of it. Michael Franti has a band called Spearhead, which is a cool name for a video game or a D&D monster. He promises to play music appropriate for deep stretching and earnest exhaling.
I assume Barry Zito will be in the front row with his guitar and purple pillow but I’m guessing we’ll miss out on the Melk Man due to his recent suspension, which is too bad because he is obviously in need of some natural enhancement. KF Panda you should be front and center, put down those donuts and hit us with your best down dog.
Can’t wait to see your Giants yoga mats in the deli section.
Wednesday Sept. 5
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HA! I love yoga but this is a really funny article.
Can you see how big I’m smiling right now? This is basically the best thing to happen in SF in .. I dunno .. forever. Well, at least since the Warriors announced they were cutting Oakland loose and coming over to the good side of the Bay.
The yoga class will be instructed by Janet Stone, a highly respected celebrity teacher who will surely teach a dynamic class. But I’ll probably be so busy letting Franti’s music soundtrack my chattarangas that I’d be OK with any sequence of poses that Stone chooses. Franti also happens to be a yoga aficionado who recently opened a studio/retreat in Bali. (Already added to my bucket list.)
Franti is the songman behind the delightful Say Hey (I Love You) anthem, which still makes me cry when I think of my ex, but also has a version that’s specifically about the Giants.
Tickets for the yoga/concert session are going for $50 to $85 and will probably sell out quicker than you can say hey … (ha ha) Proceeds are going to Franti’s Power to the Peaceful Foundation, a great cause.